To date, 44
Americans have worn the title of President of the United States. Grover Cleveland
is counted in the history books as our 22ndand 25th President because he, unlike all others, served
two non-consecutive terms of office. (put that
in your “Now I’m ready for Jeopardy” file).
A brief summary of what they did to earn that highest of all elected offices includes: Soldier; War Hero; Senator; Congressman; Governor; Movie Star; Ambassador; Attorney; Judge, and…host of a TV Game Show.
The common
denominator: all are of the male persuasion — all but one was of the Caucasian
variety. If there is another common
trait, it would appear to be that, not counting the current occupier of the
Oval Office, all spoke fluent English and had mastered the fine art of
articulate, if not always eloquent speech.
Of course, several Presidents of the recent past have managed to make a unique
mark on the linguistic history of America by uttering such pearls of
Presidential wisdom as: “I am not a crook” (Richard Nixon); “I admit
to havinghad lust in my heart”
(Jimmy Carter); “Ketchup is avegetable” (Ronald Reagan); “I never had sexual relations with that
woman” (Bill Clinton); “the problemwith the French is that they don’t have a
wordfor ‘entrepreneur’” (George
W. Bush).
Ah, but now the
Oval Office is occupied by a true master of elocution — a man whose talent for
articulation knows no equal – a man who has lowered the bar so “bigly” that to reach it requires deep-sea
diving equipment. Whether by tongue or
by thumb – in deranged declarations or tempestuous Tweets – the 300lb sack of festering
fecal matter has shared his insanity with the world. Here now, for your reading pleasure, I offer
but a few of his more mind-boggling utterances.
“Puerto Rico is an island that issurroundedby water — big water – ocean water”, and it is a sovereign nation; England is no longer known as England; George Washington stationed troops at American airports in 1775; the U.S. Air Force has invisible airplanes; people who pay income tax are stupid; GlobalWarming is a fake concept created by the Chinese; dropping a nuclear bomb into the eye of a hurricane is a good way to stop it in its tracks; drilling for oil will clean the environment; windmills cause Cancer; it would take an hour and a half to learn everything there is to learn about missiles; America can never suffer a Recession because Americans are rich; New York Times reporters “don’twrite good”; mothers who breast-feed are ‘disgusting’; grabbing women by their lady parts is something they welcome, if the grabber is a celebrity, and, more recently, he achieved a new high in lows by proudly proffering “Congratulations” to Poland on the 80th anniversary of its invasion by Nazi Germany!
Would I be wrong to say that never before in the history of America have the words “Stuff a sock in it!” been uttered more often or with more passion? I think not. How dumb is too dumb? How cruel is too cruel?? When will enough be enough?!?
—Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)
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When, oh when will we stop expecting this toxic, festering, cesspool
of fecal matter to behave like a civilized human being? When will we stop being appalled by his
despicable comments about women, or children, or the ill, or people whose skin
color, bank accounts, homes, experiences, hopes or dreams don’t mirror
his? When will we cease to be gob smacked
by his preposterous pronouncements of his Herculean prowess? When will we no longer be shocked by his
limitless litany of ludicrous lies? When? How about NOW?!
To waste even one precious instant of your life thinking
that Donald Trump is capable of civility…to pine for the moment when he opens
his mouth and manages to mortify no one…to hope against hope that some day he
will awaken – the proverbial lightbulb will illuminate over his orange rug —
and he will speak lucid words of wisdom is only slightly more daft than to
expect Mitch McConnell to appear on a Broadway stage, wearing a pink, sequined
Bustier and purple stiletto heels, singing “How Lovely To Be A Woman”. (although, I grant you, I would happily pay
to see that but, come on, what are the
odds?)
Get over it! Donald
Trump will never speak with a civil tongue, for he is a barbarian. He will never display bravery, for he is a
coward. He will never treat a woman with
respect, for he is a predator. He will
never display compassion, for he is soulless. Does
the expression “See a duck, expect it to quack” ring any bells with you?
Donald Trump is not capable of acting like an intelligent,
mature, kind, gracious, decent human being because he is not an intelligent,
mature, kind, gracious, decent human being. So, let’s all stop being appalled, mortified,
flabbergasted, or nauseated by anything he says or does. (Remember the duck?)
It is said that one who travels the same road, in the same
manner, over and over and over again, each time expecting to arrive at a
different destination, is at least a few screws shy of an orgy (okay, that’s not
exactly what “is said”, but you get the picture). I say enough!
Basta! No mas!
Donald Trump is what he is, and what he is is a spineless, ignorant,
arrogant meat puppet. Or, as Forrest
Gump would have said, had Forrest had the misfortune to encounter him: stupid, cowardly, moronic douchebag is as
stupid, cowardly, moronic douchebag does.
(Thank you Forrest)
So, let’s all take a deep, relaxing breath – breathe in, breathe
out. Now, form a mental picture of a
scene that will warm the cockles of your heart.
(Mind you, I don’t know precisely where the cockles of a heart are, but
just go with it). Picture something truly
heart-warming like…oh, I don’t know…Donald John Trump, dressed in lettuce and
mustard, and strapped to a magnificent giant Redwood tree in breathtaking
Mendocino, California…as a family of bib-wearing hungry mountain lions devour
the bastard in slow motion. Don’t you
feel better now?
Check please!
–Y.Not?!
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Plans to hold the 50th Anniversary of Woodstock on the site of the original gathering have fallen apart, but that’s no reason to cancel the ultimate “family reunion”. 500,000 on the lawn of the White House? –Y.Not?!
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40% of registered voters are Democrats. 29% are Republicans. 28% are Independents. If you think YOUR vote does not matter, you are wrong! In today’s America, refusing to vote is NOT Resistance, it is SABOTAGE! ONLY our VOTES can stop him!
–Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)
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WHAT IF...? 