America’s Official New Language

Originally written and posted last year BUT here, now, in the Era Of Covid Confinement, we ALL need a laugh so….I present, again, “America’s Official New Language”. Enjoy…Share..and PLEASE stay safe, healthy and at least moderately sane.

WHAT IF...?

In his ongoing efforts to “Make America Great Again”, the President has just announced that America now has an official Language and the official name of the official language of the United States of America is “The American Language”, or Americanese”.

Addressing a White House Rose Garden crowd of 1.6 million (according to the official White House head-count), Trump presented his vision of America’s new language, saying: “The English Language is okay for English people who live in English countries, but Americans live in America – the greatest country in the world, and the greatest country in the world should have the greatest language in the world, not some other country’s language”.

To accompany the launch of “Americanese“, America’s new official language, a 114-page “unabridged” official Dictionary has been published. The official name of the official Dictionary of the new official language of America is…

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The History of DJT

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Before I give ANY of these “companies” my hard-earned money, I want to know WHO they are! (Especially the “companies” that make CLAIMS like “Instead of laying off our beloved employees we decided to keep all of them and have them make these life-saving MASKS” — I actually saw an ad that said THAT! …and so I repeat: Who are these people?)

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On behalf of the (wo)management & staff of “What If…?”, I wish you PEACE. Please stay SAFE, HEALTHY and at least moderately SANE amid the INSANITY that now surrounds us ALL.

Consider, If You Dare…

Maybe it’s the incessant isolation, or the anti-social Social Distancing.  Perhaps it’s the mere thought of the word quarantine.  It could be the escalating public panic, or the paucity of toilet paper, or the seemingly inescapable gaze into the gaping maw of death that the current global pandemic engenders….whatever the precise reason may be, my brain insists on pondering that which my sanity would be much better off pondering not at all.   But alas, ponder I do…

Consider, if you dare…

…the many aspects of daily American life that have suddenly been turned upside-down and inside-out.  “Business as  usual” definitely does not live here anymore! 

    What’s to become of the American Legal System?  If gatherings of any number, beyond the boundaries of one’s own residence, are banned by law,  how can trials by jury be conducted?  Are people now being arrested, thrown in jail and left there without benefit of arraignment or trial?

     With schools closed, how will our children learn?  With all but a precious few businesses shuttered, how will our citizens earn?  What’s to become of  Service Providers whose services can no longer be provided? What of the Merchants, the Craftsmen, the Artisans, the molders, and makers, the builders and  bakers…and what of the customers whose need for consumption far outweighs their empty shelves? 

     What’s to become of the Renters who, without paychecks, can no longer pay the rent? What of the Landlords who, while receiving no Rent Checks, must pay the monthly mortgage on the buildings that house all those out-of-work tenants.   How will families afford to buy whatever food is still available for purchase?  And, once bought, how will that food be stored and cooked when there is no money to pay the Gas and Electric bills?

     Spring is in full bloom today, and Summer is but a breeze away, so we who may already be in the dark,  can be assured that we will not freeze…today.  But Winter will come…oh yes, Winter will surely come, and when it arrives, will it be greeted by a Vaccine?  Will it? 

      Donald Trump, he of the “great and unmatched wisdom”; self-anointed Stable Genius, Clairvoyant and All-Knowing Guardian of his personally autographed version of Truth, Justice and the American Way, insists that this whatever it is – unfortunate hoax; Chinese germ warfare; Democratic plot; inconvenience or brilliant Hide-and-Seek-Playing Enemy – will soon be banished by the warm winds of April…or by the indefatigable will power of the Great and Powerful America…or by a multisyllabic medicinal cocktail of dubious provenance – but, in any event, it will soon be but a distant memory (remembered only by those few unfortunates who were unfortunate enough to know one of the few unfortunate people who were unfortunate enough to not be strong enough to outlive the unfortunate hoax; Chinese germ warfare; Democratic plot; inconvenience; or brilliant Hide-and-Seek-Playing Enemy)!

     Mark Twain is said to have said: “There are three kinds of Lies.  Lies.  Damn Lies.  And Statistics”.  (If he were still among us today, Mr. Sam ‘Mark Twain’ Clements might be sorely tempted to amend that phrase and add a fourth – “any utterance from the mouth of Donald J. Trump”.). But, be that as it may…

     Those who are charged with keeping track of things most of us might prefer to ignore, are saying that Covid19, though indiscriminate in its choice of Host, is more likely to end the life of those over the age of sixty – the iconic generation known the world over as Baby Boomers

     We Boomers who marched in the streets and, with our banners and our ballots, brought a war to an end.  We Boomers who demanded voting rights, pay equality and justice for all. We Boomers who burned most of our brassieres and many of our bridges, all to bring a flower empowered compassionate wisdom to a  crew cut, half-cocked world.  Is a Plague called Covid19 to be the end of the Thinkers and Tinkerers; the Scientists and Surgeons; the Professors and Providers — the brains that, for decades, have guided this nation’s brawn?

Consider, if you dare…

…if the CoronaVirus is not soon wrestled into submission, cured and exiled, America could become a nation whose elders are not yet old enough to retire.  What is to become of a society that has lost its Elders…whose young ones, thanks to the necessity of Social Distancing, grew up without benefit of the essential skills learned only by Social Contact?  Who will lead the Followers when the Leaders have been lost?

It would be tragic in the extreme if all of that were the limit of today’s tragedy, but, alas, I fear such is not the case…

Consider, if you dare…

…the thousands of Americans dying daily, their lights extinguished by the Covid19 Pandemic. On average, 150 people die each day in the city of New York, but, ably assisted by Covid19, that number has now doubled.   Funeral homes, crematoria, city morgues, and cemeteries are being overwhelmed (I almost wrote “overrun”, but thought that might be a tad tacky, so I typed  ‘Standing Room Only”, but , well…whatever – overwhelmed they be).  Where, oh where are the newly departed to go?

Enter, New York City’s  Hart Island.  Well, okay, the island didn’t just enter….it’s been in  Long Island Sound since like…forever (or thereabouts).  It’s approximately one mile long and one-third of a mile wide (or thereabouts), and its history is downright Gothic. 

     During the American Civil War, Hart Island was used by the Union Army as a prison camp for Confederate soldiers.  Then it was used by the Union Army as a cemetery for Union soldiers. It was privately owned by one Edward Hunter for a while, then, in 1868, he sold it to the city of New York. (a sale for which Ed received $75,000, and  New York City received a place to bury 1,875 impoverished former New Yorkers who could afford no other accommodations).

     In the 1870’s Hart Island became an isolation ward for patients of the Yellow Fever Epidemic. In the 1880’s, it was home to a charity hospital for women, then it was an Insane Asylum, and, not long thereafter, returned to its roots, as a prison.  By the dawn of the 20th century, New York’s Hart Island was an Old Folks’ Home (for old male folks only), and, down the road a piece, a TB hospital for women.

    In 1904, Hart Island housed a Boys Reform School.  Ten years later it opened its doors wide enough to accommodate several thousand inmates New York City’s other jails were too packed to handle.   

     And then came World War II, and with it, Hart Island’s patriotic new assignment: Military Barracks….military barracks for…(wait for it)… incarcerated military men.  But the war ended (as most wars are wont to do), and, in 1946, Hart Island found itself back in the hands of New York City’s Department of Corrections.  Unfortunately (or, perhaps, fortunately), the Corrections Department wasn’t, at that particular time, in the market for additional incarceration real estate, so, in 1950, it handed the island over to New York’s Welfare Department, who used it to house male derelicts.  The derelict population must have liked the place because, by 1954, New York City’s derelict population was populating by leaps and bounds so….back to the Department of Corrections went Hart Island.  (Nobody bothered to mention to those derelicts, or their keepers, that from 1955 – 1961 the United States Army just happened to be using a few chunks of Hart Island to house a few Nuclear Missiles.)

     In 1966, the Hart Island Jail facility was closed, the prisoners were relocated, and Hart Island became home to the Phoenix House Rehabilitation Program for Drug Addicts.  And so it remained, until 1976 when New York City’s Department of Corrections laid claim to it once again. 

     Out went the Junkies, in came the….nothing.  The Corrections Department didn’t seem to have any surplus prisoners so, for a while, Hart Island was home to only its history, and, of course, a few thousand long-shed mortal coils.  And so it (and the remains) remained, until 1982 when prisoners once again called Hart Island home…until, in 1991, they were all transferred to New York’s notorious Riker’s Island Prison.

     Since the mid-1800’s, New York City’s Hart Island has been a prison camp, a prison, an Insane Asylum; an Old Folks’ Home;  a quarantine spot for victims of Yellow Fever and TB; a Rehab Center for Drug Addicts, and a cemetery for soldiers, prisoners, indigents, the homeless, and victims of at least three plagues – Yellow Fever; Spanish Influenza; AIDs and…now…Covid19

     Before the birth of 2020, and Covid19, the notorious, soggy ground of Hart Island had already become the final home of nearly one million.  Today, more than 100 soldiers from the U.S. Army, National Guard and Air National Guard are working in shifts, around the clock, driving rented vans all over the city of New York, to pick up the bodies of homeless, indigent, or unknown Covid19 victims and loading them onto Ferry Boats for the ride to their Hart Island final resting place.  

    Those bodies arrive at Hart Island in unmarked wooden coffins where they are stacked three high, in rows of six, and placed in trenches the approximate length of a football field.  One new  trench was dug in early April.  A second was dug on April 8th.  Before Covid19, Hart Island saw an average of 25 burials a week.  As of today, that number has increased five-fold.  More are now buried daily at Hart Island than were interred on a weekly basis only weeks ago – no fewer than two dozen each day, every day, Monday through Friday.  There are no mourners.  There are no flowers.  No Psalms, no songs, no head stones – just contracted workers clad in Hazmat Suits, with only backhoes to bear witness. 

Consider, if you dare…

…what will become of us – all of us – if the future of this nation…the future of its people…the future of all we hold dear, is left in the hands of the same Stable Genius who insists that the brilliant Hide-and-Seek-Playing Enemy will soon be banished by the warm winds of April; or the indefatigable will power of the Great and Powerful America; or a multisyllabic medicinal cocktail of dubious provenance – but, in any event, it will soon be but a distant memory (remembered only by those few unfortunates who were unfortunate enough to know one of the few unfortunate people who were unfortunate enough to not be strong enough to outlive the unfortunate hoax; Chinese germ warfare; Democratic plot; inconvenience; or brilliant Hide-and-Seek-Playing Enemy!   Consider, if you dare!

–Y.Not?!  (aka Brooke Jones)

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Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)
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AN OPEN LETTER TO: Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison, Michael Bloomberg and Tom Steyer:

     On behalf of all Americans (and, perhaps, all of Humanity), I beseech you seven men to join hands and put your significant financial resources to the greatest of all possible uses – save us from the Plague that now threatens not only the lives of millions of people, but Society itself!

     It is abundantly clear that the current United States Government will not save us, but YOU can.  Together you men have the intelligence, experience, skill and resources required to ensure the research, development, manufacturing and equitable distribution of all the tools, instruments and medications needed to end this Pandemic and save countless lives.  Financial power such as yours could be put to no greater use!

     If you choose, instead, to leave the Fate of America in the hands of the incompetent, sociopathic Donald Trump and his greedy cronies, millions of your fellow Americans could die.  And when, at last, this scourge has ended, the America YOU were born and raised in – the America that made your amazing personal success possible — the America that so many fought and died to defend – THAT America will be no more.

     The Future of We The People, the Future of America itself, teeters on the brink of extinction. Will YOU save us? OUR FUTURE IS UP TO YOU!

MOST desperately,

We The People

Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)

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Bring Out Your Dead!

(with infinite thanks to Monty Python)

Donald John Trump said he considers himself a “Wartime President”.  Well, okay…so we’re at war with a VIRUS.  It has surrounded us.  It has broken though our defenses.  It is staring us ALL right in the face!

SO…hey there, Mr. Commander-In-Wartime-Chief — why are you not commanding your corporate troops to IMMEDIATELY ARM your Front-Line Troops (health-care workers)? Why are you not commanding that ALL necessary provisions be immediately transported to the Battle Field?  Why are you not commanding all Munitions Suppliers to RAMP UP Munitions Supply MANUFACTURING?  Why are you putting your ENTIRE troop force in the direct line of fire – completely UNARMED?

An ACTUAL Commander-In-Wartime-Chief would ensure that ALL troops have everything they need to WIN the war.  An ACTUAL Commander-In-Wartime-Chief would protect the Homeland by MANDATING that all products needed to WIN the war are being manufactured and delivered.  An ACTUAL Commander-In-Wartime-Chief would do everything possible to ensure that the citizens in his/her charge would remain out of harm’s way.  An ACTUAL Commander-In-Wartime-Chief would make certain that EVERYTHING that can be done to protect the nation and ALL its citizens is actually being done.  An ACTUAL Commander-In-Wartime-Chief would make all of THAT the NUMBER ONE PRIORITY of the office of Commander-In-WARTIME-Chief!

Unfortunately, YOU, Mister “Anything but “Commander-In-Wartime-Chief”,  You have SURRENDERED the health and safety of this nation, and instead of protecting We The People, YOU have sacrificed the lives of We The People in exchange for YOUR personal BANK ACCOUNT!

Ample evidence proves that you knew about the existence of this killer virus months before you made that knowledge public.  Ample evidence proves that you intentionally hid that knowledge from the citizens you are sworn to protect.  Ample evidence proves that your love of money far outweighs your concern for our planet, our nation, and our citizens!

You, Donald Trump, are NO “Wartime President”.  You, Donald Trump, are NO “Commander-In-Chief’.  You, Donald Trump, are NO ‘Leader of The Free World’.  You, Donald Trump, are a TRAITOR to the nation you swore an OATH to protect. 

Because of You, Donald Trump, thousands and THOUSANDS of American citizens will die at the hands of the enemy your actions have not only NOT defeated,  but, in fact, have aided and abetted.  You, Donald John Trump, are a MASS MURDERER!

Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)

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Kung Flu Fighting….

On Wednesday, March 4, 2020, the man who believes that windmills cause cancer; Belgium is a city; and in 1775 England was attacking America with airplanes, told the world that he knows more about the Coronavirus than  does the World Health Organization.

“I have a hunch” Trump said.  “This Corona thing is no big deal.  If you get it you might not even know cause it’s mild, and anyway, you’ll probably get better and you can get better just as easy at work as you can at home so if you get it you should definitely go to work!”

ATTENTION:  Legion Of Lunatic Lemmings:

Your Leader has spoken and you MUST heed his words ‘cause he was sent by God, ya know…or now he IS God – one or the other – I forget.  But anyway, you worship him, and you know he’s always right and he would NEVER tell a lie, so, by all means, if you get the Coronavirus, you should do as your Leader tells you and GO TO WORK!

ATTENTION:  Everybody Else:

It’s entirely possible that by Election Day, November 3, 2020, there will be considerably fewer Trump voters still drawing breath.  …I’m just sayin’…

-Y.Not (aka Brooke Jones)

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