‘Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House
not a creature was stirring, except for The Louse.
He sat on his gold throne, device on his knees,
Tweeting his latest insanities.
Then, from somewhere outside there arose such a clatter,
that he jumped from his duties and dropped his snack platter.
To the window he waddled and looked down to see
a red-suited figure – “Who could that be?”
Then Junior crawled in whining: “What’s all that noise?”
and Barron shrieked: “Santa! He’s bringing my toys!”
“Oh no, that’s not Santa! Are you dumb or just blind?
That’s old Crooked Hillary and her saggy behind!”
From her sleigh in the driveway then Hillary spoke:
“I’ve got the computers and pictures and notes,
and even the boxes of uncounted votes!
I saw you do all of the sick things you did,
and I know where you’re hiding the secrets you hid.
With the blackmail items that, for years, you’ve stocked up,
when it’s all sorted out, won’t be me who’s locked up!
Your time in the White House will soon be no more
and I’ll laugh and applaud as you’re dragged out the door!”
Then Eric unleashed such a sad, mournful sob:
“If Dad’s not The Boss, who will give me a job?”
“Shut up. Just shut up! This is not about YOU!
This is all about ME, but I know what to do!
I’ve got friends, lots of friends, the BEST friends, in fact.
They love me, they’re loyal, they won’t let me get sacked!
I have friends in high places – friends nobody knows,
friends with yuge power and YUGE debts they owe!
I’m too big to fail – too important to touch!
I’ll be President for life – they promised that much!”
Then the pants-suited figure stood tall, straight, and proud
and from out on the driveway her laughter got loud:
“President for life? – Too big to fail?
With titles like that you’ll be well-liked in jail!
With your selfish, disgusting, deplorable deeds,
and your cruelty, lies, and insatiable greed,
you’ve written your future in blood on the streets,
and set it in stone with your 3 AM Tweets!
You’re a cancer – a rancid and festering sore –
a malignant, malicious, international whore!
The time has now come that the Piper be paid.
Time now that the sum of your Evil be weighed.
I thank Flynn, Guiliani, Bolton and Cruz,
and Cohen and all of your ‘Friends’ at Fox News!”
Then, reins in her hands, she hopped back on her sleigh,
and uttered the words she had long wished to say:
“Great thanks to the People who dared ‘take a knee’,
and to Dreamers and Memers who refused not to see,
plus the millions of people with Soul and with Heart
who wept as you tore this whole Nation apart.
Thanks to Mueller, Pelosi, Schiff and Max Waters,
and all of America’s sensible voters,
our Nightmare is over – we’re rid of this Scum
and the soulless bloodsuckers who were loyal to the Bum!”
Then she said, with a wave and a glorious grin:
“Merry Christmas to all – may the Healing begin!”
— Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)
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