From The Offal Office
To guarantee the safety of the upcoming Presidential Election, and to make sure that the results reflect the wishes of true Americans, all ballots will be inspected and counted by panels of Election Experts who will verify the authenticity of each and every vote. These Experts, chosen for their extensive experience and expertise, will inspect and count every legitimate ballot.
The vote totals from each panel of Election Experts, when added together, will determine the winner of the November 3, 2020 Presidential Election. This will ensure that there will be NO Voter Fraud. Americans will finally be able to trust that the results of a presidential election are accurate and completely free of tampering or interference by any of the people who are working hard to deliver our great Democracy into the hands of those who want to destroy it!
Thanks to this new and brilliant Election Management System, invented by Donald J. Trump, America will never again suffer from Electile Dysfunction.
Signed by: Donald J. Trump
–Y.Not?! (aka Brooke Jones)
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