Author: WrittenByBrookeJones

'Twas the night before Christmas & all
                 through the manse
      Donald Senior was farting & soiling his
                  pants
He parked his fat fanny on his gold toilet
                  seat,
     his stained, baggy Boxers adorning his
                  feet.
"Melania!" he barked, on his gold intercom
     "come bring me my phone, I'm in my
                 gold john"
"Bite me!" said she, "Do I look like a maid?
      Call one of your bimbos or some hooker
                  you've laid!"

Then from somewhere close by there came
                 such a loud ruckus
     that he fell off his throne, landing hard
                 on his tuchus
Grabbing his bloomers he went to the door
     to find red-faced Don Junior out cold on
                the floor
That's when Barron came shouting "That
                noise was a HOOF!
     It means Santa just landed his sleigh on
                our roof!"
Then Donald Junior, with a bra on his head
      crawled into the room & collapsed on
                the bed.

Suddenly they heard such a terrible BANG
     that Junior said "Huh?" then passed out
               again,
just as Eric marched in, his gun at his side,
   "I shot an intruder!" he boasted with pride,
as Elon appeared with blood on his face
    "that fool didn't shoot me, what he shot
                was this vase!"
His hands held one piece of shattered, red
                  glass,
while his eyebrows held 2 & there were 3
                  in his ass.

"I'm sorry!" cried Eric, dropping his gun
                  on the floor,
     where, of course, it went off, blowing
                  holes in the door,
causing Elon to shriek "Whys that dunce 
                  own a gun?
     If he wants to play you should give him
                   a drum!"

"My son is a moron, let's just leave it at
                   that,
     He's a low-IQ person with the brains of
                    a gnat,
but if you sue me you're fired!" Trump
                    threatened Musk,
     "and I'll have you arrested & in jail by
                    dusk!"
"You'll have ME arrested?" Musk said with
                    a smirk
      "You can't fire ME, you rancid, dumb
                    jerk!
Now you work for me, not the other way
                    around,
      in fact I OWN you & your whole D.C.
                     crowd!
And the rest of this country, you orange
                      buffoon, 
      I share with Russia & China & that
                      Saudi loon!"

"You're a nut job, you're crazy!" Trump
                     said in a shout,
      "but my pal Vlad Putin will straighten
                      you out!"
"Your pal Vlad Putin? Don't you know
                      ANYthing?
      You're just his dumb puppet & he holds
                      your strings!"
At the mention of puppets Barron ran in
                      the room
     "Santa's bringing me puppets & a baby
                      raccoon!"
Attempting to stand, Junior said with a
                       shrug
     "I asked for a doll!" then his face hit 
                        the rug.

The sound of a horn was the next noise they 
                        heard
     "Must be Santa's new ride" Don Junior
                        slurred
To the window they went, looked out & saw
     Elon Musk's jet-pack sleigh spitting fire
                       on the lawn
Elon hopped in the saddle & strapped 
                       himself in,
     then turned toward the window & said
                        with a grin:
"Trump, you love MAGA-LARDO, that's
                        easy to see, 
      but Siberia awaits if you cross Vlad or
                         me!
I'll write the laws & I'll make the decrees
    while you follow my orders & you do as
                         I please!" 
 
Then they heard him proclaim as he flew
                         through the gate,
    "Merry ChristMUSK to me -- KING ELON
                          THE GREAT!"
-- Brooke Jones      12.24.2024
WrittenByBrookeJones.com